Journey of a thousand miles is a blog by Nthabeleng Hlapisi. The blog was birthed as a result of her mental health journey that was more magnified. The blog was created to heal, learn, unlearn and relearn about the issues regarding wellness from the perspective of the stories of people around me. The blog is an honest and safe platform to engage and communicate what love for one another is. It encapsulates the idiom ‘it takes a village to raise a child and this is through the stories shared on the blog. Moreover, to motivate and inspire others to live a wholesome living.
As I look outside I see and feel the grace and presence of God, the beauty in all the plants outside. The beautiful sky and just serene view of His artwork.
May the year 2022 be beautiful for all of us, may we chase after our dreams. May we allow God to use us for His purpose and not our selfish intend. May we be humble and patient enough to listen and hear his word.
I wish you(us) nothing but the best years to come. Be kind, be beautiful, humble, graceful and let love lead you. May we be the salt and light of the earth. Grace starts with you… love starts with you…justice starts with you…breaking generational curses will start with you…
One sunny afternoon as I was sitting in my room in varsity I received a message from one of my friends: ‘The girls in class want to hike up the mountain. Would you like to join us?’ Well, first the fashionista in me asked myself, ‘What was I to wear? What shoes will go with what?’ The introvert in me wanted all reasons not to go. ‘Would I even enjoy it? Was it going to be worth it?’ But the adventurous Nthabeleng jumped to the idea. I’m glad that side was stronger on that day because I woke up the next morning, took a shower, dressed into what I did not even plan and had an impromptu decision and joined the girls on the hike.
This was my first hike, at least a voluntary walk up the mountain for leisure. Little did I know how tiring and daunting it would be, with obstacles to conquer and later painful swollen feet to nurse. Well, most parts of the Lesotho Mountains are graze lands, where one would occasionally meet up with a couple of shepherds and their sheep enjoying basking in the sun and doing what they do daily. This however is not ideal for a group of girls who have personalities – some afraid of the big dogs the shepherds walk with, some not fond of the whistles from the attention-seeking shepherds or even being chased by the shepherds’ dogs if one doesn’t greet them.
That is one of the obstacles, the shepherds. The second is the path, a very mountainous not even hilly slope up. One can imagine with no prior training or even a proper warm-up how daunting this must have felt. With little compassion from others who have hiked before because they climbed the mountain with ease. Then there’s another hurdle, with all energy gone you have to cross some small water patches (not a river), maybe a stream. Some parts of the path were big rocks where one had to squeeze through in the scorching sun. But alas, we walked through the valley in undesirable conditions to the most beautiful fall I have seen. I always knew that Lesotho is called the Kingdom in the sky and well, after that long walk, I believed it.
The walk was a long one, almost four hours to the fall. But it was all worth it. The most magnificent encounter with nature. The undisturbed meadow ran into a perfectly 90-degree angle to meet a stream of water to make a verdant view and long fall. God is the best artist of all time and I’m pretty sure He was showing off just with the place. Anyway, I received more than I could imagine with that walk, physically, mentally, emotionally and it was a breather as we had just finished our examinations.
One thing for sure is that life is a journey, and in a journey, we have to walk through a path. Paths are never easy, especially for a worthwhile journey. There will always be an obstacle. But, what do you make of the obstacle? How much do you value your journey to withstand all the opposing forces through your paths? When I was hiking, there was always something to hold on to, whether it was the faith that I will make it to the end, or the trees, rocks or the walking stick I carry to anchor me through. But there was something. Maybe ask yourself this question, “What is that I will hold onto as my foundation to my current journey, to help me through it as an anchor? Is the journey worth it? Will it be worth going through everything on the other side?”
I know sometimes we don’t even know if it is worth walking or holding onto but trust your heart. Trust God. Trust that He has not brought you this far to bring you this far. In the end all the stones you come across, use them as your stepping stones required for your elevation. The journey is worth it, put on your fighting spirit and walk, with thorns and all the opposition.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. – 1 Corinthians 9:24
Your journey is important, write your story through your path.
“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” Hebrews 13:17 NIV https://hebrews.bible/hebrews-13-17
One of these days I had a conversation with my cousin, who I felt was being ignorant and did not listen but I laughed it off knowing how far I have come. If the same incident happened a few years back, it would be a different story, I would be upset, impulsive and emotional but now I am at a better stage in my mental journey. How many times do people not listen to what you are saying to them but choose to respond, out of ignorance even? How do you react? Do you get offended? How does it make you feel to not be heard? Not to be understood?
Last year December, my family was blessed with two beautiful puppies. Every time I set foot outside, they would wag their tails and jump at me. Sometimes I understood that they are hungry or just need me to hug them but at times I wouldn’t. But there’s never a time where I saw them frustrated, I would shout or even ignore their gestures of communication even in my attempts of ignorance. However, they would be excited, jump at me and lick me more. Sometimes we attempt to converse with people because we trust and love them but instead of giving us an ear, they flip to the ‘I KNOW IT ALL’ mentality and it frustrates us so much. Being around and with people who never listen to the whole story but instead jump at any opportunity to correct or lecture?!
How do we deal with ourselves in such instances? How do we stop being offended at every opportunity presented but instead know that what we feel is valid and worth being expressed while we just have the wrong crowd?
Let us lay down the truth, however painful it may be, people who get easily offended are people who live in their minds, who always have high expectations from other people but seldom communicate them out. ‘Expectations are a thief of joy’ – Unknown. At times we give people so much control over our lives that we expect ‘better’ from them. But what if you have to do ‘better’ at understanding not to overshare or that they are not the crowd for your conversation? Offence comes in many forms not just where you feel unheard. Sometimes one may be offended that your best friend did not tell you first about their plans, wedding, birthday celebration and the like. Sometimes this is an underlying sign of insecurity, control and manipulation. We have to understand that we have free will to do whatever we want when we want and whoever we want to – this includes telling whichever person our plans first.
If you have a habit of always being easily offended, take a little time and introspect on the following: psychology proves that sometimes people who experience offence are ones who always want to be in control of everything and are usually anxious when they are not. At times this comes off in a form of a passive-aggressive habit where one does not know how to be vulnerable but yet holds that as their power. One of the ways this manifests is called the ‘insecure attachment’, where one chooses to remain silent and punish people because people ‘don’t hear them.’ Behind misery is pain. Too often beneath all the pain is a past of trauma, abandonment and neglect.
Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others. – Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; – James 1:19
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offence. – Proverbs 19:11
If you find yourself getting offended easily, how do you curb this and ultimately not always get offended? People will always misunderstand us, offend us and not agree with us. But we should choose to not be offended, choose to understand them and ourselves better. We should be slow to speak and slow to be angered by anything people say. We must practice patience not only with other people but with ourselves through every journey. Understanding that one can only control their feelings and themselves and not another person is also fundamental. You are only responsible for your feelings and not what the next person utters from their mouth.
Starting a new year with a grateful and optimistic heart is what most of us do. To have good plans for the year ahead with faith and an optimistic heart. We all need faith, we all need to plan because as Habakkuk 2;2-3 says; 2 And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end, it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. We always have to plan and ask God the desires of our heart. We don’t have to settle for what we have or the resources we have, but be faithful that the Lord will provide for our every need.
However, what if you started the year on a bad note? What if things are not working for you? Plans are not going as planned, you are losing the business deals, losing loved ones? How do you shake up the dust and rise? Getting up from a storm is not difficult, the most difficult part is instructing your mind to and being intentional about it. The most difficult part is surrendering to God and allowing Him to work through our lives. To be vulnerable and acknowledge the situation. Help is one of the most difficult aspects of also getting up dusting and putting the pieces together. No one ever preps us for problems or even difficulties but we are fortunate to have God and the people around us to love us through what we go through.
The first step to healing is admitting that we are going through a difficulty, emotionally admitting to the turmoil. You don’t have to inform anyone through this, but let your soul understand that you need help. The universe acts funnily, the same energy you radiate is one that you will reflect, if you ask for help, it will reach out to you. Always push through, remember opportunities do not just come to those who wait but, opportunities avail themselves to those who go out to look for them. A friend of mine has changed jobs three times in a couple of two years, then I thought to myself, ‘why don’t other people get jobs as often?’. The first question that came to mind, was, do we ever apply? Do we ever put ourselves out there or afraid of rejection? The answer is most probably not, we give up easily on the applications or never follow up on why we have been rejected. It is not easy I know for anyone, but opportunities avail themselves to those who avail themselves.
In times of turmoil, who do you surround yourself with? What do you read? What does your soul consume? Sometimes we overlook what our souls and minds consume because we think it is small things. The same way our body consumes junk food and makes us unhealthy is the same way our minds will consume negativity and lead us into depression, anxiety or other mental health issues. During the time we want to dust ourselves up, we should be positive and mindful of what we consume because sometimes our minds don’t filter what comes in and out. Lastly, just dare to believe that God is able. He can help you through the situation, just have the faith of a mustard seed and believe that your life is an arena and platform for miracles. With the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains.
The Basotho nation starts a new year in August – this is our ‘other’ new year, may we reflect and make room for new opportunities, love, laughter and lessons.
Pledge; I will make room for you Lord, with no distractions, to do what you want in my life.
Scrolling through social media a few weeks ago, I came across an interesting topic that Miss Universe – Zozibini Tunzi briefly tapped into – destiny attachment. Of course, I had to find out what it really meant and how it has had an effect on me, directly or indirectly. At one point in my life, I had thought maybe I loved certain people, but in hind sight I was afraid of what was to happen if I left them in that season, hence I continued with the relationships – attachment issues. People always advise me to travel across the continent or globally – sole travel. But I have a fear of leaving my comfortable home, Southern Africa. Questions always flood my mind and I get overwhelmed by the change that can happen if I left what I knew and dared to venture into the unknown.
An old culture that was practised by the Greeks shows that the greatest misery is brought by attachment. Being attached to people, places and patterns bring nothing but comfort. But what if your purpose will be better in a different place or with different people or with new habits? What if you will unleash your full potential by being accustomed to change and the ability to adapt? As difficult as it may be, sometimes we need to just leave certain individuals at some point in our lives for ourselves to evolve. We may also need to leave a certain version of ourselves in some places to become better people.
We hurt ourselves and bring ourselves so much disappointment by looking for happiness in places that have hurt us. In places that have not let us grow, in places that have continually shown us that their season is over in our lives. But because we hold on so tightly to them and make them our idols then, we end up sad or bitter when we don’t get the results we expected. Imagine being in a mud pit and expecting to be clean and attractive but always returning to the pit that tainted you.
It is not always about being in negative situations. Growth only means being able to have a different mindset and results as you had before. If you are attached to places and people who don’t water this into you then your growth will be stagnant. On the contrary, please get attached to your principles, yes people may add and try to distort those but you are you because of what you stand for. Get attached to your dreams, work as hard for your dreams as you think about them. Get attached to your mission and your vision and don’t let anyone change that for you. Only you know your purpose on this earth and don’t let the noise distract you.
A very interesting story in the bible in Genesis 19 talks about a man, Lot, who was spared by the Lord from a city that was filled with wickedness and sin and because of that sin that was happening in Gomorrah, He decided to destroy the city. However, He asked Lot to take his family to a new destiny, his sons, daughters and sons-in-law through angels that He sent into Lot’s presence. The other family members resisted and thought he was joking so he fled with a few of his family members including his wife. In verse 26 it writes; ‘But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.’ Lot’s wife knew what they were leaving and understood why they had to leave. But, because she was so attached to where she was from, the people, the lifestyle maybe even the comfortability, she had to look back but this led to her distraction.
‘Beware of destiny addiction. The idea that happiness is in the next person, the next job or the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.’ – Natalie Manuel Lee
If like me you are afraid of change, believe me, it does not bring any growth and it just inhibits meeting new amazing people and making new amazing memories.
Only be attached to things that make you grow – listen to God’s voice within you and soar.
The last couple of days have been very beautiful and joyful. It all started with a single step: a change of mindset. I have been cheerful and at peace because “when the time is right, the Lord will make it happen” (Isaiah 60:22). It is very beautiful seeing and experiencing the peace of God and not because things are okay but because I know through the storm I am walking with God. It has been a very challenging thirteen months but faith has sustained us through. Many soldiers were lost during this battle but we remain to live to see the promises of God.
Restoration…
I know and believe everything starts in the heart and mind. I have full confidence in this because it has happened to me several times. Change of mindset can change your life. Change of mindset can make you attract all you need and want. We have to remain cognizant of the fact that time is a gift, we all live on borrowed time and how and what we spend our time doing is very essential. We have to live aware that our happiness matter and joy matters and that we live not for ourselves but have a higher purpose.
Having said this, we must spend most of our time thinking positive thoughts and being grateful for what we have been given also believing that what is to come will be greater than what God has done for us. (After all He takes us from glory to glory by His grace.) The Bible in Roman 12:2 writes, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” The scripture cements the truth that we always have to renew our minds, and this cannot be effectively done with a negative mindset. This cannot be carried out with a mindset that compares what you have with what others have (physically, mentally and spiritually).
In philosophy, there have been laws set out and called the twelve laws of the universe, one of them being the Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy. This law emanates from that in the world, at the energy level, everything is constantly changing and evolving hence ‘energy is not destroyed but transformed.’ This also relates to the fact that our thoughts always lead into manifestations hence the actions we take daily. If you always have negative thoughts about the people around you or your life, that is what you manifest and that is what you will attract.
As I articulated earlier, it has been a very positive journey for me because I have chosen to be a positive person and surround myself with positive people and engagements. This has transformed my life tremendously because I see the small changes and things shifting in me. We need to remember that we are what we think and that the same energy that we bring into our minds is the same energy that will be reflected. You don’t want to be a bitter person, do you? You don’t always want to be seeing negative in everything and critiquing everything you come across, do you?
Instead, let us renew our minds. Let us surround ourselves with like-minded people and environments that help us grow. We should start with ourselves because charity begins at home. How do you see yourself? Do you love yourself? Have you forgiven yourself? Do you believe you can bring change in this world, regardless of how insignificant it may be? Lastly, do you know you can change, heal and inspire someone by just being a positive and grateful person?
You can change the world; the magnitude depends on you – Believe it.
I remember the first time I looked up this word was in 2019 while I was writing a chemistry paper. Well, I had seen it before, I had used it before but now I was surprised that my supervisor was using it in chemistry – in organic molecules for that matter! That’s when I decided to look it up in the dictionary (The Free Dictionary).
Anchor;
a person or thing that gives somebody a feeling of safety
a reliable or principal support
In my village, we have a river and on the river bank is a huge willow tree. These species are from the genus Salix group and can grow up to twenty-five meters high. A lot of times the tree is swayed by the rushing winds, by the strong waters and sand. One would assume that due to their flexible structure the tree would be easily blown by the wind and be easily washed out with the flowing river. However, the willow trees have very strong, deep and wide roots that prevent this from happening. In events of floods, instead of being washed off, the trees absorb the waters and prevent soil erosion.
A lot of times in our lives we go through trials and tribulations like the willow tree experiences on the bank. We go through temptations of comparison and get lost with regards to our identity. Well, the question(s) I want to ask you is; who is your anchor at times like these? What gives you strength and nourishment during the times when you feel like the winds are blowing your way and floods are about to sweep you off? What makes you strong in the times when you feel weak? In times of thirst and hunger, where do you resort to for nourishment and fulfillment?
A few months back I was lost, not lost because I do not know my anchor, but lost because of the noise around me. I felt I did not belong, I felt that God, for two minutes, had abandoned me. That for a few seconds I had no sense of belonging. Mind you, I had all I needed, I had my family, my friends and God, who I felt had left me. I overlooked what I had because of what other people had or were accomplishing. Instead of being thankful for what I had, I felt entitled to what other people were being blessed with. But I am glad I remembered Whose I am, I remembered Who my Anchor is.
Sometimes it takes losing yourself to value who you are called to be. To see the blessings that you have and to dream and aspire to be more and sometimes it takes seeing the ‘green’ grass on the other side. However, apart from losing yourself, you should never take for granted what you have been called to be or why you are on this earth. You should never take for granted the lessons that come with all the storms and hardships you are facing. You should not take lightly that you will be a stronger human being emotionally, mentally and even physically after all the floods have tried you.
Often, we get so lost in the world and stop believing in our own lives, our journey. I looked back and remembered God has always been faithful and will continue to be faithful in my life. That I am not made from a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind. That He knew me when I was in my mother’s womb and had plans for me – to prosper and not to fail. You know sometimes it just takes believing and living in faith because faith without works is doomed. I changed my mindset from being a victim and started living as a victor because no matter the storm I face or will face, I know my Redeemer lives and will never leave me nor forsake me.
Remember who your Redeemer is and live like you are loved.
I was privileged to attend a meeting with a group of ladies a couple of weeks back and one of the ladies spoke about how we turn our purpose or gifts into idols. Is it not funny how contradicting it reads or even sounds? Well, looking at ourselves this may to some extend be true; making our gifts, work, purpose or even ourselves idols and worshipping them. It is confusing I know and at this point, I’m sure you are asking yourself if you ever do that or even deny that you ever do it but I will give a few examples of how this may be so.
At some point in our lives, we work so hard and so much that it takes everything away from us, mentally and physically, sometimes even spiritually. But when is it enough? When is it enough to work hard and make it in life, because the Bible also says that we should not be lazy, so how do we draw a line? We all have the desire to be successful and have all the money for things we can afford and bless other people but is our desire(s) placed in the right place? Is our desire to be rich and successful for our ego or for us to glorify God?
One of the questions one should ask themselves is; ‘Is my desire for success more fulfilling than my desire to want to know God?’ Sometimes pride gets in the way of our desire to be hardworking human beings. Sometimes we get so caught up in our work, our business and even ourselves thriving and forget the ‘WHY?’ For some people, it may seem like pride is good because it is a confidence booster until they start worshipping themselves or their work. The pride disguises itself as confidence and they end up not realizing that they are not humble.
Before anything, let us remember there is healthy and unhealthy pride, so in this extract, we are talking about unhealthy pride.
Pride can often be seen when someone constantly needs to prove something to people or themselves. When nothing seems to satisfy them because they want to prove that they are right or can be successful or ‘make it in life’ as we often loosely put it. This is rooted in their deep overcompensation that they are not enough forgetting the truth at we are enough, with God we are. People who idolize themselves or have pride are often seen to overvalue themselves or attribute any success or work only to themselves and this could result from low self – esteem. Pride often goes hand in hand with comparison, when you start comparing what you have with what others have and begin to criticize them because you are more than them or have more than they do. People have different journeys and all we have now may be gone tomorrow for tomorrow is never guaranteed. Some of the behaviour may be a result of narcissistic tendencies of people who always want to be applauded for the work they have done. In this case, a person will go above and beyond his capabilities because they want to be applauded believing that they are the best in everything.
One thing we should remember is, we are all we have – we are all we have to please God. No one else will please God on your behalf. No one else will be humble and be an empath on your case. Yes, we all want to be successful and have healthy lives, but are you humble? Are you reflecting your pride healthily? Are you happy when other people succeed? Do you let your hunger for success come before you as a human being? Are you constantly seeking validation for the work you have done or you do it because you have a good heart?
‘And God spoke all these words, saying, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, …’ – Exodus 20:1-15
“To whom will you liken me and make me equal, and compare me, that we may be alike?” – Isaiah 46:5
“In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.” – Proverbs 14:23
Journey of a thousand miles🙏 